Sadly my dad passed away at the weekend, just a few days before his 64th birthday.
I have never had so many different emotions all at once!!
So much to do.
I have to say I am so glad that I am here to go through this with my family close by and have involvement in the arrangements, not only that but extremely glad that I had a week with my dad before he passed.
You've just walked on ahead of me
And I've got to understand
You must release the ones you love
And let go of their hand.
I try and cope the best I can
But I'm missing you so much
If I could only see you
And once more feel your touch.
Yes, you've just walked on ahead of me
Don't worry I'll be fine
But now and then I swear I feel
Your hand slip into mine
Glad I followed my gut feeling and caancelled London. RUH rang me 1/2 hour before my train was due to leave, I actually got on the train and there was damage to the track so was sat there for a while.
ReplyDeleteDecided it was the wrong decision so got off the train, went home then travelled to see dad for a couple of hours.
Goes to show you must follow gut instinct!
He was in a bad way, did not communicate or react in any way. Somehow I knew it was bad news.
I spoke to the doctor who said that he had a shadow on his brain and likely he was not going to pull through as it affected his BP & conscious state. Told Adrian and he had already decided to come down that night, eventhough he would not get to RUH until 11:30pm.
Thankfully he managed to spend some time with dad before coming over for the night.
Ade & I got the call about 2:30am Saturday 12th June, the nurse did not expect dad to survive the night and suggested we make our way over.
Thankfully Mark drove as I do not think I could have handled it.
so glad Ade was here and that I had decided not to go to London!
Grief is strange, one day I am fine, the next a wreck!
ReplyDeleteThe slightest thing would set me off, although sorting out dads belongings seem to help.
I do not have any emotional attachment to his things, they are just objects and it is keeping me busy!
I have sent out the invitations for the funeral which is for 29th June at 2:30pm and have plenty of other things to sort out! Must admit it was nice to do handmade invitations, but very sad time too.
I am hand making his service cards too, something I know he'd appreciate and again - keeping me busy!
Dads funeral on the 29th (2:30 pm) was possibly the hardest day of my life.
ReplyDeleteAfter a mad rush around in the morning (as usual) as we had to lay out items at the Mill - they were brilliant, let us put dads pics out properly so it was like his final gallery. He would have been proud!
I just about managed to get dressed in time for Pete to state in the car he didn't really know where he was going! Great :(
Anyway, managed to get there in time.
As soon as I spoke to the family I broke down, for some reason I thought I could stay strong - at least for the 'Hello's'.
The service was nice and simple, with poems and readings from friends and family (although Bob was the only one brave enough to get up) through that we had lots of tears but some laughter too which was nice.
After filling up on afternoon tea and cake at the Mill at Rode we all had a good chat about happier times, it was a nice day and now I think I finally have some sort of closure.
Love you dad, in my heart forever xxxx